But Mommy and Daddy Still Love You!

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Of the thousands of oxymorons, one of my very favorites didn’t make the top 20 list. Here is the list of the top 20 as defined by Oxymoron List (link here):

1. Microsoft Works
2. Healthy Tan
3. Jumbo Shrimp
4. Work Party
5. Dodge Ram
6. Virtual Reality
7. Tax Return
8. Working vacation
9. Head Butt
10. Pretty Ugly
11. Peace Force
12. Tight Slacks
13. Plastic Glasses
14. Taped Live
15. Same Difference
16. Living Dead
17. Silent Scream
18. Personal Computer
19. Alone Together
20. Government Organization

The one I feel is missing – Amicable Divorce.

It must be the most amazing coincidence, but every time I speak with someone involved in this situation, they are the wronged party. A recent discussion began innocently enough, “How was your weekend?” I asked. The separated dad went on for an hour about how his soon-to-be ex-wife was destroying their kids’ lives, while he sat alone at home miserably knowing he could do a better job raising them.

The bottom line is that most likely, they are both destroying their kids’ lives. Enter stage left; increasingly more divorced couples are enlisting the help of professional parent coordinators to resolve parenting disputes.

Although the service can be expensive (anywhere from $50 to $350 per hour) it still makes more sense than calling a lawyer each time you squabble over the cost of sneakers or dance classes. You would be paying a lawyer, but using the new ‘parent coordinators’ may help teach a lesson in better communication along the way.

A good example is where a parent coordinator will suggest a line of communication such as email, and critique any emails that become sarcastic. The downside is that although they may be valuable, some parents may not like another person’s unsolicited input on how to raise their children, and an outsider involved in decision making.

The biggest benefit may be the parent coordinator’s ability to diffuse emotion, and let’s face it – these situations are wrought with emotion.

1 Comment »

  1. I honestly believe that amicable divorce is not only possible, there are many examples of it taking place day after day, year after year, without a lot of hoopla or outside attention.It starts with awareness about breaking the news to your children. My own experience more than a decade ago led to my writing a guidebook for parents on how to create a storybook with family photos and history as a successful way to have this tough conversation. The new book is called How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook(TM) Guide to Preparing Your Children — With Love! Therapists, attorneys, mediators, educators and other professionals from around the U.S. and beyond have endorsed the concept, attesting to the value of my fill-in-the-blanks age-appropriate templates. Six therapists contribute their expertise to the book, as well. My goal is to get divorcing couples to stop, talk and create a plan before having that crucial “divorce” talk with their children and hope, for the sake of their kids, they will decide to move ahead in creating a child-centered divorce. For free articles and more information, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.
    Best wishes,
    Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

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